When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
