Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
