Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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