you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
