well most of my day revolves around power hour
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize