It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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