I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
