also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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