can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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