is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
