I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
