Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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