I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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