I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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