I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
