I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
