Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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