batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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