You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh god it's open bar.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
