belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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