Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
