Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
