ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
