My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize