sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
