Old men and throwing up are my life now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
