...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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