I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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