I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
