I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
