I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
