Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
