It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
