Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize