Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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