I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
