Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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