is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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