After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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