There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
