Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
