If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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