i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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