sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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