I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
