covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
