Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
