Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
