dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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