Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
