If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
