hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
