I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
