his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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