We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
