Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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