I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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