handjob tips. give me some.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
