You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
