Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
