Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize