This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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