maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize