Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
