I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize