I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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