someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
