Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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